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Diyanah Abdullah,lucky 19
18th April, Aries
Asc, TP
Laughters and smiles makes her world go roundd
She's intertwined like a ring with Neutron

"We must never confuse elegance with snobbery." -Yves Saint Laurent.

the day was great i guess and as cheery it could be.. i was definately showers with laughters and smiles. after a long day of frowning and trying to get things rite and to forget the persistent questioning of oneself about Smiley, i guess its finally a break to everything. Self destruction it was for the time being and somehow i hope it would end soon. its kinda driving me nuts.

so yesterdae it was the whole day of Silat since 10am in the morning till 8pm. drenched of energy i was and not to forget the determination in me that drives that spirit in me going. the never-ending support and assurance was a platform for me.he definately taught me with his heart and soul. he made sure i knew the steps and never did allowed me to be left behind. i envy his care and concern for his students and he was the best intructor i ever had. he was that soul motivator and with him around i know i could excel to greater heights. the helping out for the graduation held this morning went on well.

the graduation was superb-ly great and everything went as planned. only a few factors made it abit haywired but it was under control.emceeing was fun with the crazy Farah around. thank god we were good at impromtu. if not, things will not turn out well.mistakes are to be made and to be learnt from. it was an experience. it was fun meeting the old and the newbies. farmiliar faces could be seen and i definately did enjoy my day well. Smiley made my day too. he sound different for the day but he still remain as sweet as he could be. i think.. hahahz.hes laughter are getting louder and hes voice makes my heart throb...hmmz.. i wonder what does that means?


it was a self destruction thing yesterdae.the one fear that i faced since the last relationship i had was a phobia to get myself commited again. to put myself into a commitment and get it going in a relationship was almost impossible after being hurt.i was too scared at first but after a while i guess i gt too comfortable with the single life i was sailing. being filled with so much emotions of uncertainties and a pinch of dissapointment, i'm just so affected by him.i dont know why im feeling this way and i wonder why. why was i that affected by his actions when we're just friends. it was a barrier i set for myself knowing somehow it would get different later somewhere along the line.i didnt want that to happen at first but i now its different. i knew his intentions well at the start of everything and knowing the fact behind it i kept quiet and just went on with it. it was a head banging thing wen i realised it has been a day without contact. i dunch know why i felt super pissed off and the mood just went off. he wasnt even my bf and he didnt have to "report" to me in a sense but it somehow gt me angry. clueless i am about my act and i wonder if im reallie falling for him. have i overcome that one fear im facing....
Oh dearie me, I am the real essence of style.